Thursday, November 21, 2013

Ways to keep your Ds relationship safe from your vanilla life.

Safe sane & consensual kink
Ways to keep your Ds relationship safe from your vanilla life.
There are many aspects to safe & sane consensual kink, this is just one.

I know My clients and slaves tend to be married. They are attached to their families who they love very much & the life that they spent years building. I never in any way want to compromise anything that makes them happy. I have felt torn at times knowing that in the minds of wives this is cheating but I confidently believe that I am the only outlet for something so true & suppressed in so many different types of men. I love that I can be who I truly am on a daily basis & when they're with Me they get to be who they secretly wish to be but keep hidden day in & day out. I know that its a lot of work to live a double life, I wish everybody was as fortunate as I am to feel accepted & loved without judgment for who I am and for who I want to be. My slaves mean more to Me than they might ever know. I accept them, I love them & I am completely protective over them.

I realized that not all of you are completely aware of small mistakes that can take big tolls on your vanilla lives & that is the reason behind this rant. I feel it is part of My job to inform you of suggestions which will hopefully protect you from harming your family or job. Here it goes..

First of all, try to get your partner to understand what you would like to try together. Buying some toys is a great way to let Her find the rush BDSM can bring into any relationship. Stockroom just came out with a line of toys that are great basics for any beginners. CLICK HERE to take a peek. When that doesn't work....
  • Get Separate Accounts- for everything.
  • Separate email accounts. This way your new social networks aren't tied to your vanilla email address. Same with phone number. Google voice will give you a free phone number with your new email account, use it to connect your kinky social networks if those apps ask for it.
  • Google voice usage will still show up on your bill if you are using your cell phone, remember that. It is still an option to use it by calling or texting from your laptop instead of the phone since there will be no documented record of it on a bill.
  • Separate social networking accounts. Having a way to express yourself, to be heard and share opinions on your new experiences is important to Uus all. Set up your new social networks using your new email account and phone numbers, this way when someone allows their apps to search their contacts for other people using the same app --your hidden account wont come up.
  • To communicate with those who are being watched like a hawk I recommend using data messaging apps on your smart phone. It allows you to text others by using data which wont show up as text charges on your phone bill. Or use Instant Messenger from gmail or yahoo for the same reason, no trail of an email. All you need is Internet.
  • Remember to delete your browsing history on your computer and also for your Instant Messenger programs. Ctrl+H is how you bring up the menu that gives you the option to delete your history on your web browser. Instant Messengers have a setting you can change to the option of not having your chat history saved, pick that option or remember to delete your chat history before you log out.  
  • Passwords are your friends. Put a password lock on your phone. Password your user account on a shared computer. Make sure the passwords are a little different on each account because what is the use in having to get one password to enter every social network & account possible? The more roadblocks the better. Taking things online by using data messaging systems vs using the phone to call or text is in My opinion the best way to remain undetected, just remember to always clear your history just in case.
  • Separate bank accounts, establish shit before you begin your second life. This way wife doesn't ask about your purchases or withdraws. Give her money for her separate account, this way she is taken care of & you will have your freedom to explore your kink privately. Or the second account can be completely your secret to avoid the whole "yours, mine & ours" debate. Another idea is to buy yourself gift cards to use as debit cards. Load it up so you'll be ready to pay for those online gifts or dinner with your Miss if you should feel the want to serve in that way. I know its one thing to send money tributes which allow Us to enjoy the lifestyle that Wwe both want to enjoy but I know many of you also have the desire to surprise your Miss by buying things off a whishlist or website & this is one way to make it happen. Make sure you check the website you are shopping or buying off of to see what cards they accept such as a prepaid visa or mastercard and these can usually be bought at a drugstore or supermarket. It does require a little more legwork but if its worth it to you then its a great solution.
  • Using cash is always best to avoid a money trail. It cant be tied to any specific thing so it can be explained away easier. Sending money orders in the mail has been a great way to transfer money for Me since My mailbox & POBox both have locks. If you prefer not sending money via mail then gift cards are best since they are usually easily transferable online. NetSpend reload packs work well & are simple to use. I sometimes will ask for it as a form of deposit for sessions for gentlemen who cant or wont go online for deposits because they have to be careful. Just go to a 711 or walgreens (or find distributors locations on netspends website) & pay for the gift cards with cash to completely eliminate the paper trail. The card is loaded & has a code on the back of it which you will give Me, it allows Me to go online to My netspend account & transfer that money to My account.
  • If you buy yourself a giftcard with cash & then use it to add to your niteflirt account you can still call from your laptop & worship My voice & laugh. Ive even had guys use Skype to call from niteflirt on their computers. They're usually out of the country but it would still work if you're just avoiding the phone bill proof of calling -Me- and the bill proof of reloading your niteflirt. 
  • Time - your family & friends will notice if you suddenly stop doing the things that you normally do or are suddenly missing for hours at a time. So be busy before you start a second life, keep busy, have a hobby, maintain your current responsibilities & lifestyle. The goal should be to find a way to routinely slice out time that can eventually be used for fun.
  • Have an alibi - if you say you're going somewhere then actually go & preferably have some proof. It can be a picture of where you went, it can be a receipt or an online check in on your vanilla Facebook account. Do something to show where you've been. This way any additional time away can & will be easily explained away. 
  • Don't fall in love with Me - what Wwe have is a Ds relationship & although it can become intense I am not your primary partner. I have very clear boundaries so confusing things & blurring the lines will not be good for you, Me or anybody.  
  • If they find out... I suggest minimizing everything. Few people will understand but both you & I know how much & exactly what Wwe mean for each other & I'm satisfied with that. I completely respect your need for privacy & will not attempt to contact you first, ever but especially not if you tell Me you hit a bump in the relationship road. I am always here for My pets & slaves if they need Me to listen, make suggestions or just distract them.
I know people might feel betrayed or concerned for your health/safety even though you & I know what we practice is safe, sane & consensual kink. Yes, the consequence of having to face someone who isn't open minded or just doesn't get it really sucks, and hurts. For that I'm sorry, I wish I was powerful enough to eliminate & protect you from that. Ive had My fair share of instances where I had to defend My kink. Seeing Me happy was important to those close to Me who love Me & those are the people who I value the most in life.

It isn't easy & there is a small price to pay if you're secretly kinky. But its so worth it to enjoy the bliss of what true Ds relationships offer I think. I enjoy being served in a variety of ways & each slave I allow to serve Me is special to Me & not taken lightly. I think if you follow these suggestions you will be able to experience kink & know if its truly what you enjoy & want to be a part of your lifestyle. And when you realize you cant go back after being kinky & that you deserve to be happy you can fly your freak flag high & proud with Me & tell those narrow minded people to eat shit. xo